ch-ch-ch-changes: Day 4

wow. Day Four. that deserves to be a proper noun.
i decided yesterday after consulting with my friend that im not going to drink the laxitive tea anymore. it hurts too much, and i think this is difficult enough.
i felt very dizzy and faint last night at a party. it may have been the smoke or maybe it was i didnt have enough juice. i walked EVERYWHERE yesterday. like 3 miles. i think next time i do the fast, im going to have 80 oz the first three days, 70 oz the second three days, and 60 the last four.
i also "eliminated" 10+ times yesterday. exhasting. i did not do the saline wash this morning, as i got to work and turned out im not working alone today.
something else weird. i had a really extreme case of deja vu yesterday. my friend ben was telling me a story and i swear ive heard him tell it before. it wasnt a "so i was really drunk"story, one i wouldve been likely to hear before. it was really personal.
i had a dream night before last that all the fat melted out of my face and all i was left with was a sheet of skin with eyes in it.
i feel really run-down today. could it be all the exertion yesterday? not doing the flush today?
it feels like im playing this fucked-up game of would you rather. would you rather do the Master Cleanse and have crazy stuff coming out of your body, toxins releasing from your tongue, skin a mess, glands swollen? or would you rather suffer through the cleanse and find youre clean as a whistle?

Officially the most trying thing i have ever intentionally done to myself: day 3

other than two years ago, when i compusively obsessed over a greek boy who couldnt have cared less about me.
last night was again, awful. the tea cramps me so, and i was very very hungry. i couldnt drink any more of the lemonade though, as i had already had my alotted 60 oz. in addition, i didnt want to be up all night, the sound of consuming buzzing in my ear like a mosquito.
also, and this is a very strange thing, something about this fast changes the way i sleep. not the position, or anything physical, but the very psychology of it. i always wake with a start, not realizing i was dreaming. i dont lucid dream as a rule, but i hardly wake up frightened to be in reality.
i must have "eliminated" 8 times yesterday. every time, nothing but water. i finally bought some baby wipes. im not kidding. my poor princess bottom. between that and peeing at least 20 times. im not exaggerating.
im not hungry from morning till about 4 or 5. then i start thinking about food. its maddening.

later....ive had THREE you-know-whats today and all of them were "solid". more like yard waste. leaflets of poo. nothing to speak of, bu tmuch more pleasent than the supersoaker effect i had yeasterday.
i tried drinking the saline flush cold today and its much more pleasant than taking it warm. im doing the yoga poses after every 4 oz of water. its working well.
im going down to first thursday art walk tonight AND ive already commited myself to helping my friend laura move on saturday AND go to a drag show. *sigh* me oh my.

moments later...

i thought i should post how carefully ive been following the cleanse and my results:
drank the tea last night
drank a little over half the saline wash + asanas
drank about 80 oz of lemonade yesterday (a little too much)
drank about 60 oz of water (not nearly enough)
tongue is still pink
tummy cramps
thinking about food A LOT, but not really hungry
number two is like water, and third time this morning, totally clear!

there is an Dryer's Ice Cream truck outside. motherfucker.

process of elimination: day 2

last night was awful. all i could think about was food. daniel said "pieces" and i thought he said "pizza" and started obsessing. i kept coming back to beans and rice. beans and rice. i think its because beans and rice make a complete protein.
also, i couldnt sleep. buzz buzz buzz. maybe from all the sugar? i felt like getting up and running around the block. my mind could not slow down. then i drank the nasty tea. barf. i strongly dislike the flavor of licorice. it has a slippery quality, and the smell reminds me of the bog in anchorage. woody, damp, and rotten.
now im drinking the saline wash. i do the neti pot almost every day, and this is like doing the neti pot for my digestive system. ive already had two number twos, and they both looked like number ones. caution sign yellow, with cayanne pepper in them. ive had to pace myself with the saline wash, as the first swallow made me gag (tee hee). im also incorporating yoga asanas for cleansing (elimination) and they can be found here
good stuff. ok, enough for now.

grrrrrrrrrr

i just called my folks to tell them i started the cleanse. they pretended to be interested, which was nice. then i proposed the theory that my brother (who eats for shit) who has been suffering from joint problems and muscle aches may have an impacted colon. this has actually happened before, and he had to spend the night in the hospital with a tube up his nose and down his throat, pumping a vile, viscous liquid into his stomach and through his intestines to excavate the tar-like dead shit bacteria and hardened mucous that had him "backed up". my mother told me to "stop it". i can NOT believe what horrible denial she is in. i understand she feels guilty for not setting any boundaries with him as far as food, and now he has innumerable heath problems because of it. but to completely shoot down what is in all likelyhood the most probable theory as to why my brother feels like shit all the time is UNBELIEVEABLE. whateve. im going to drink more lemonade.

Master Cleanse: day one

wow. so after almost 3 years since i first heard about this, im finally doing it! im doing the cleanse because:
1. i want to get all the bacteria and undigested nastiness out of my intestines. i have a lot of gastrointestinal problems, and hopefully, this will help. i am sick of planning my life around the bathroom! i am lactose intolerant (can only have fancy cheese, which isnt so bad) and just generally sensitive to complex food. i can NOT tolerate red meat, as i was a vegetarian from birth to about age 22 (with a little bacon thrown in for luck, here and there). i have seen the horrific pictures of the....things that come out of peoples colons while on the cleanse and it is DISGUSTING.

2. to help with energy and irritability

3. (ok ill own up to it) to drop a few pounds

4. break any addictions to sugar, carbs, and coffee (which i weaned myself off of TWO WEEKS before the fast).

today is day one and im already about to mix my SECOND 20 oz container of cleanse. is it ok to drink more in the beginning? also, does anyone know if i can drink selzer water?
i will post more later. im thinking about mexican food.